Coming back to the States, arriving in a new place, and separating from Justin (after 5 1/2 months of being together) all took place within 2 days & were met with a lot of tears, which helped me to release, but it was still a painful time. Now, after a month of being here, I can say that this is the only place (besides Peru) that I'd like to be right now, and more importantly is where I'm supposed to be.
My days are definitely filled with highs and lows, and I struggle a lot of the time, but like Justin said to me the other day, "When have I not been without struggle?" And like Peru, the more struggle I had the sweeter the experience. So I just keep telling myself that.
Within this month, I've traveled to Massachusetts once, seen Emma graduate from college (!), and had a delightful surprise from Tony (& Becca), my roommate from Sirius...a dear friend whom I've missed a lot. I've also been doing a lot at Omega, seeing and learning some beautiful things. And I have a feeling that it's only going to get better from here. I've also met a lot of really wonderful people who have amazing life stories.
Of course, I miss Peru and Manuel almost every day, and in thinking about the future I think about returning to Peru, but I want it to be organic...something I'm supposed to do. Not something I'm doing because I'm running away from something else.
So that's the update. Continually coming back to treating myself in a healthy way, thinking healthy thoughts, and being present with whatever comes.
Hasta luego, mis amigos...
~Nikki
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